Teaser Tuesday: cover reveal

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This week’s Teaser Tuesday is, finally, on a bonafide Tuesday! Isn’t it? I mean…. today is Tuesday, right?
<checks watch>
<googles weekdays>
Yeah, seems we’re good!
As I was saying: it’s a cover reveal! A follow-up of more ridiculousness from Drake the hapless vampire with erectile dysfunctions AND… an incredibly loose adaption of Island Of Dr. Moreau. In fact, it’s so loose, it has nothing to do with the book. Well, very nearly has nothing to do with it. It does kinda sound the same. And there is a doctor and there are experiments. And a pet chicken that was there before I ever saw Moana. I mean, come on. I might write disturbing things, but I wouldn’t mix Pixar movies in there like that. That just ain’t right.

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Teaser Tues-..Thursday: cover reveal!

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Tuesday is going to be Thursday this week. Because it’s Christmas! And a bunch of other holidays! Rejoice ye readers of books and things. It’s the official holiday of staying at home and burying yourself in books. Yes. For a cover reveal we got a cover for a werewolf/wolf shifter whatsit coming up later. Long hair and things that almost look like wolves. But not quite because that would be bestiality. And I made a Santa to wish you happy holidays. Enjoy whatever you’re celebrating!

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Any Way You Pump A Centaur 2: Pony Island

Jimmy the centaur is back!  And of course as is on par with Jimmy’s world view, things quickly get ncentaurponytextaked and sexy and some slight tomfoolery is involved.

Mike and Maria have been invited by the notorious(ly sexy) Jimmy to take a break from the bleak Canadian winter and come hang out on Pony Island, the official beach holiday destination for all creatures mythological and some not at all mythological who just like the vibe. There’s sun and fun and glitter and moose. Everything sex swingers from Canada would want for a weekend getaway, and a whole bunch of things you definitely wouldn’t want if you want to have an actual holiday. Things take more turns you can shake a stick at. And there’s of course sex.

Any Way You Pump A Centaur 2: Pony Island is available at Kobo, Apple, Page Foundry, 24 Symbols, Barnes&Noble, Tolino and Amazon Kindle

Dracula And The Night Nurse

So remember when I said I might write stuff that’s a bit all over the charts as far as themes go? Wdraculanursetextsmallell, this is one of those things. Dracula And The Night Nurse is decidedly on the comedy side of the fence. There’s penises there, not to worry, and bare breastises and everyone’s very much having sex, but be forewarned, these are erotic ‘misadventures’ and falling off the side of the bed while trying to reverse cowgirl doesn’t quite cover how awkward things can get.

We’re introduced to Dracula here, getting his bizarre rashes checked during the midnight hours when instead of his regular doctor he’s been seen to by a buxom nurse. Things quickly spiral out of control, there’s sex and shenanigans. Things don’t turn out quite like all those vampire books led you to believe.

Dracula and The Night Nurse is available at Kobo, Apple, Page Foundry, 24Symbols, Barnes&Noble, Tolino and Amazon Kindle

 

Teaser Tuesday: Any Way You Pump A Centaur 2

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“Right, we’re going on a little holiday,” he said. “Jimmy says he knows a perfect place. We’re going.”

“Jimmy?” I started protesting.

Jimmy the centaur could reliably be said to be a bit of a banana skin. Tread carefully with him. The last time we tried organizing a centaur-human swingers party, he failed to mention that centaur poo wasn’t magical and did not disappear on it’s own and while centaurs were half people and only half horses, they still pooped like horses. The lady whose garden we were using wasn’t best pleased for all the extra manure. Not sure how thrilled she’d be to host another party any time in the near future after all the havoc Jimmy’s buddies wreaked in her garden.

“Yes. Jimmy. You need a break,” Mike was staring at me very serious,”and Jimmy messaged me a while back about a beach holiday possibility. We’re taking it.”

“A beach holiday?” I was struggling with processing many different feelings at the same time. My body was so so tired. I could hardly lift a fork and the mere thought of a sunny beach somewhere was like a warm cuddle from Santa; it immediately made my muscles relax and a warm, comfortable feeling rush through me. But it was Jimmy.

“Look, I know Jimmy’s a bit of… an idiot,” Mike said kneeling beside me, “but I’ll be there, babe. You know that. I’ll take care of you.” he held my hands in his big bear-like paws. My little black hands looked so tiny there, cupped safely in his.

“Yeah, yeah, I know you will,” I said smiling up at him. “I’m just not sure how relaxing it’s going to be with that big walnut prancing around.”

“It’ll be good,” Mike grinned. “Just need to pack some food. Jimmy says they only get human-food shipments once a week if there’s humans around, so pack our own in case they haven’t gotten it yet.”

“Wait.. what? ‘Human food’… where the fuck exactly is this place?”

Teaser Tuesday: Even more covers plus another thing

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Yet another boring cover reveal, you say. Well, sort of. Only one cover this time: Any Way You Pump A Centaur 2! Pony Island is definitely not boring. The horse on the right? Admittedly there because I fell in love with the image and it’s now a plot bunny  (horse?) in some drunken horse-shifter shenanigans. Thank you, Nick Page, for the image.

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So what’s the other thing? That, my lovelies, is a publishing schedule. A genuine, bonafide, 100% pure molehair publishing schedule! Which you can find on the front page on the bottom right hand corner. Since I’m frankly shit as clocking things, every new release is set for 5am, which I’m sure you understand, not a realistic time to be rolling things out as any sensible person is still only half way through their sleep cycle. Please ignore it. Don’t ignore the dates. The first two are set for this week: Poking At Their Pregnant Blonde on the 18th and Dracula & The Night Nurse on the 20th. I’m hitting publish the day before and keeping my fingers crossed it wont take Amazon and D2D longer than 24h to push my filthy babies through. Oh yeah, that’s the other thing…. I mean third thing…? Are we counting? Did anyone take notes because I’m on my third bottle of Merlot tonight and that’s about as much tracking as I can manage. AAAAAnyhow.. I’m not going to be exclusive to Amazon for these new titles. So even if you don’t have a Kindle, you’ll be able to explore all my smutty smut to your heart’s content on what ever kind of eBook reader you have. I thought that was a pretty spiffy thing and have been patting myself on the back for it. It’s all coming together so beautifully!