Teaser Tuesday: cover reveal

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This week’s Teaser Tuesday is, finally, on a bonafide Tuesday! Isn’t it? I mean…. today is Tuesday, right?
<checks watch>
<googles weekdays>
Yeah, seems we’re good!
As I was saying: it’s a cover reveal! A follow-up of more ridiculousness from Drake the hapless vampire with erectile dysfunctions AND… an incredibly loose adaption of Island Of Dr. Moreau. In fact, it’s so loose, it has nothing to do with the book. Well, very nearly has nothing to do with it. It does kinda sound the same. And there is a doctor and there are experiments. And a pet chicken that was there before I ever saw Moana. I mean, come on. I might write disturbing things, but I wouldn’t mix Pixar movies in there like that. That just ain’t right.

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Dracula And The Night Nurse

So remember when I said I might write stuff that’s a bit all over the charts as far as themes go? Wdraculanursetextsmallell, this is one of those things. Dracula And The Night Nurse is decidedly on the comedy side of the fence. There’s penises there, not to worry, and bare breastises and everyone’s very much having sex, but be forewarned, these are erotic ‘misadventures’ and falling off the side of the bed while trying to reverse cowgirl doesn’t quite cover how awkward things can get.

We’re introduced to Dracula here, getting his bizarre rashes checked during the midnight hours when instead of his regular doctor he’s been seen to by a buxom nurse. Things quickly spiral out of control, there’s sex and shenanigans. Things don’t turn out quite like all those vampire books led you to believe.

Dracula and The Night Nurse is available at Kobo, Apple, Page Foundry, 24Symbols, Barnes&Noble, Tolino and Amazon Kindle

 

Teaser Tuesday: new covers

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This week’s teaser is another cover reveal. One for Dracula & The Night Nurse, a first in a series of shorts about the erotic misadventures of Dracula and a redone cover for Any Way You Pump A Centaur, so you wont get confused. This one has a jimmy that looks much more like the Jimmy I always imagined him to be.

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Teaser Tuesday: Dracula And The Night Nurse

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From Dracula And The Night Nurse

She was a round woman, with a large bosom that was taxing the buttons on the front of her uniform to their very extreme and thick legs straining the fabric of her dress. She had remarkably shiny red hair, Dracula noted. It was pinned up and she’d stuck in too many pins around her head to hold down all the flyaway hairs. He counted at least seven. Maybe that wasn’t too many. Just felt excessive to him. But what did he know. He just felt naked. Because he was naked under his gown. Every time the nurse turned her back to lay equipment on the table, his vision was filled with her enormous backside and that made him feel even more naked.

It was juicy. Oh so juicy.

He instinctively covered his crotch with his hands.

“Um, where’s the doctor?” he asked.

The nurse glanced at him over her shoulder.

“We’re a little understaffed tonight so since you didn’t need immediate care and weren’t bleeding to death, it’s just going to be me, I’m afraid.”

“But… but..” Dracula started, then realized that he might be letting his own paranoia get the better of him. This was just a routine check up, after all. You can’t be drinking from every Tom, Dick and Harriet and NOT take care of your regular health checks. People had such weird afflictions these days. He had a quick flashback to that one time he caught the plague. It did eventually get better but damn it, the itching and the boils took months to clear up. With most modern medicines, things took only a few days with his supernatural biology. No more rolling around in the sweaty coffin, spitting blood and scratching your skin off for months of end for him! And come to think of it, he didn’t think it was very courteous to go out to eat and give the plague as well as anemia to some random stranger.

The nurse had finished setting up her equipment and sat down with his patient chart.

“Sooooo… Mr Luca?” she looked up.

Her eyes were stunning, Dracula though and gathered more fabric to cover his crotch.

“Yes. Drake Luca. That is me,” he replied nodding.

“It says here you’ve been experiencing minor headaches and itching… where are you itching exactly?”