“That grass is dead, man.” Jimmy continued.
“No, it’s not,” I lied to myself.
“Sure! Whatever you say, neighbor. It just looks mighty dead from where I’m standing,” Jimmy smirked. His smile looked like someone had painted teeth on a tomato.
“It’s not dead. It’s resting,” I insisted, rubbing my neck.
Jimmy leaned against the fence. The fence creaked in desperation.
“Well, as soon as your grass is done resting, come to me and I’ll give you the name of a guy. My grass guy can do stuff at a good price. No one will ever know,” Jimmy winked.
His “grass guy” sold plastic turf. I shuddered, imagining my proud rose bush and the dahlias surrounded by plastic fakery. I didn’t even buy plastic lawn chairs. There was a reason. A good reason. My mother had died in a tragic and completely unpredictable plastic explosion. Her body had been riddled with strips of cellophane and the cheap polyester scarf around her neck had shrunk in the heat suffocating her. No plastic. You couldn’t trust plastic.
I gave Jimmy a dirty look under my brow. “No plastic.”
“Fine!” he said, throwing his hands up. “So when are we gonna have another BBQ on your fresh lawn?” he continued. Some people were just born to be assholes even when they were friendly.
Teaser Tuesday is again on Wednesday and another cover reveal. Two covers for some dirty, naughty, not entirely serious, ok not-at-all serious dinosaur erotica coming next week. And under the covers, you’ll find the extra update. So it’s almost like Christmas. If instead of presents, Santa let you look at some pictures on his phone and then just patted you on the head.
People who have been reading my little stories – whom I love dearly and cannot even begin to tell you how much it wets my cold, dead heart that there are people investing their time into my writing – have probably noticed that there hasn’t been much activity or new material coming out. And also that the update schedule is in serious disarray. The private life over here has been such that I’ve been hustling to make basic income and that’s left writing, of any kind, in the ditch. Also have been told by reputable professionals to lay off the legal substances. But that’s another story. Am I too old to say YOLO to that?
Is anyone using YOLO anymore?
Anyhow, the basic income situation seems to be evening out so the schedule and writing will be picking up by the end of the week. Though I’m giving a fair warning that any new shorts might be pushed to next week. BUT, after that, Teaser Tuesdays will be on actual Tuesdays (unless there’s rain) and the publishing schedule will be updated.
God, if it wasn’t the year of the cock, I’d make a joke about how this year has been kind of a dick so far. But I’m not gonna. I’m just saying things are starting to look up. And I got 11 covers done and stacked and 7 more on the table waiting to be finished, so I got material in store for you little monkey nuts. Material up the wazoo!